Tag Archives: diet

The Invisible Hot Sauce World

I’ve come up with a good way to explain to normal people what it’s like to have IBD. My boyfriend mentioned once that me trying to figure out what to eat is like trying to find good food that’s not covered in hot sauce, and that’s what triggered this idea.

Imagine that there’s this type of hot sauce that gives you the most pain you’ve ever felt. Your stomach aches, you get the worst diarrhea any person could ever get. It’s not even worth adding to your food. The thing is, it’s invisible. You can’t smell it, taste it, feel it, or anything.

Then imagine you lived in a world where food was covered in it about 80% of the time. Everyone in invisible hot sauce world loves it except for you, because it makes you sick. In that leftover 20%, there’s 15% going to food that is definitely not covered in invisible hot sauce.

But eating just that 15% of the types of food there are in the invisible hot sauce world gets really boring. You miss regular food that’s not plain potatoes or chicken with zero spices. You get to the point where you’re desperate enough to take that leftover 5% and run with it.

In a world where 80% of food is covered in invisible hot sauce, 15% is definitely not covered in hot sauce, there’s a 5% chance that a normal food that you eat isn’t covered in hot sauce.

So after this breakdown, you order a greasy fast food cheeseburger, some curly fries, and a milkshake. There’s a 5% this meal won’t make you sick, but after being stuck with plain toast and chicken broth, you’ll deal with anything.

There’s an 80% chance it’s covered in the invisible hot sauce and there’s a 5% chance it isn’t.

This is why some days I can’t get myself to eat whatever is put in front of me. I’m just not ready to take that chance.


Mental health in lieu of physical health

Hey guys! I’m doing so much better than I was two months ago. I’m finally on Humira! I’ve had two doses already (6 shots total) and I feel already 100% better. Humira burns like crazy when you get the shot, but it’s a great trade off because I can finally eat things like a normal human!

But today I’m here to talk about something. Mental illness vs. physical illness.

It’s this BuzzFeed post that set me off today, but I’ve been thinking about this for a long time now.

Many people seem to think they understand physical illnesses more than mental illnesses. You often hear people saying to people with mental illnesses that it’s all in your head and you can stop being depressed by just thinking happy thoughts. They couldn’t be more wrong about that.

With physical illnesses, most people tend to be understanding if you have a cold or the flu, or even a migraine. They tell you to take some medicine and rest. You may even get reprimanded if you try to go to work/school again too early because you might get sicker.

When it comes to invisible physical illnesses, that’s the outlier no one expected.

I’ve lost count at how many people have suggested different diets to me instead of letting me eat what I feel comfortable with. How do you expect me to go paleo when I can’t even eat a salad without doubling over in pain a few hours later? I can’t go vegan or vegetarian, as much as I’d like to.

One time I tried kale and it came out looking the same way it did when I ate it. Painful? You bet.

I also like steak and chicken a bit too much to let meat go. Plus, chicken is one of the few things I can eat without any problems afterward.

I’ve also had people tell me “At least it’s not cancer!”

Like really, I’m supposed to be overjoyed that I don’t have something that can potentially go into remission and possibly get cured. Ulcerative colitis tends to go into remission if you get the right medication going, but it can come back at the drop of a hat.

I’ve heard general statements that my fatigue is all in my head and if I just workout more, I’ll be fine.

Yeah, you try telling that to my anemia. I’m sure it’ll start letting up after I pass out on an elliptical a few times.

What I’m trying to say is, that physical illnesses are often thrown under the bus when you’re talking about mental illnesses. I’m starting to get really tired of people refusing to see what they’re doing is destructive. When I say I’m sick, I’m fucking sick. It probably doesn’t look it, though.

I nearly died from blood loss because no one believed me when I said I was sick until it was almost too late. I never want to be that sick again.

Now, let this be known that I’m nothing but for promoting mental health awareness, but if your method of informing people is to compare it to making people doubt physical health, you’re doing it wrong.

Don’t forget that invisible illnesses exist. Mental illnesses are really just the cause of a physically “sick” brain. Really, mental illnesses are physical illnesses too. There’s a reason why medications often work wonders for people.

Mental illnesses should be taught alongside other invisible illnesses. However, most people don’t understand invisible illnesses and probably will never understand – not even if someone close to them has one. You can’t understand what it’s like to have an invisible illness unless you actually have one.

I learned this myself the hard way.

Salad Bar

So I learned the hard way that my body still isn’t ready for any type of raw food. I tried eating a salad today at a buffet and I ended up having to run to the bathroom before I was even done eating it. I was stuck there a good five to a million minutes, so I was glad I brought my phone with me.

Back before I was diagnosed and had my old phone, I used to straight up bring my laptop into the bathroom with me. No shame. I figured that I might as well make one long trip instead of having to make four to five quick trips.

Either way, it was super rough. I’m never doing that again. It’s kinda ridiculous how my body can process chocolate better than what’s ACTUALLY healthy.

After I sat back down at the table, my mom suggested that I eat the cornbread because it was “just so delicious!” I broke it in half only to see that there was actual corn baked inside. I sighed loudly and looked at her.

“Just pick it out!” she said.

Yeah, you go ahead and pick the pre-mixed sprinkles out of a bowl of ice cream and then we’ll talk. Ugh, I was so mad. She still doesn’t understand my diet after all this time.

At least there was mac and cheese there that I could eat.

This is why I can’t go vegetarian/vegan. Apparently my body only likes carbs and protein. I can’t even take fiber supplements because it does the same exact thing.

People really need to stop suggesting diets to me. It’s just rude.

I’m still pretty groggy since I’ve woken up, but I forced myself to write today. I’m gonna try eating something in a bit. Wednesday is my next doctor’s appointment and that’s when we’re going to talk about my next Remicade infusion. Apparently my new insurance is being fussy about giving it to me. I had this same issue with them when I was in the hospital a month ago now.

Fingers crossed that everything goes according to plan.