So I feel like I should be a different gender while writing this, but I’m working with what I got. I’ve got a health problem where people have varying degrees of the same symptoms, so I’d still be where I am if I were a guy. I’m writing in the defense of people I know who have a hard time finding someone to stick with them, guys with chronic illnesses. It’s rough living life with a chronically inflamed colon. I’m having to dart in and out of the bathroom while editing this because I’m currently in a pretty bad flare right now.
But I digress, here’s the list you actually came here to see.
*Disclaimer: This is geared for mostly for straight women, but I guess a gay man could benefit from reading this list as well.
- He makes plans ahead of time.
There’s nothing better than a guy who’s planned out the evening. I’ll bet that when he agrees to a restaurant, he knows some great, safe foods that you can get there. He also will know where the bathroom is well before you’ll need to go. When you have IBD or any other kind of chronic illness, it’s hard to allow yourself to be spontaneous.
- Staying in is always on the table for dates
Netflix, hot tea, and blankets are always a safe bet for someone with a chronic illness. Getting to unwind is a great way to recharge spoons. You’ll also have first dibs on snacks like popcorn and pizza since he will most likely be avoiding those.
- He’ll actually know what cramps feel like
Believe it or not, this is 100% true. Whenever I’m flaring up, it usually takes a couple days to figure out if it’s a flare up or if my period is coming up. Luckily for guys, they only have one part in the general pelvic that’s messed up while I have a couple, if I were to be on my period at the same time during a flare. He’ll definitely have heating pads and some sort of comfort suggestions available for you.
Also, hey, you’ll both be losing blood at the same time. Misery loves company, right?
- He’ll know how to listen
Not being listened to in a doctor’s office is one of the most infuriating things. Because of this, I always know to wait until I get all of the information before I start making a response. If someone were to have gone through the same things that I have, they would probably act the exact same way.
- He’ll understand your issues with food (if you have any)
This point may not apply to you, but he’ll understand any sort of body or weight problem you’ve ever had. I get upset if I know if I’m getting either too fat or skinny. My body has changes based on that particular day. His will change, too. Intestinal bloating, gas, stretch marks from steroids, and all of that. If he’s a true human being, he’ll get self conscious too. The most self conscious I get is when I know my face is puffy from taking Prednisone for a long time. Wanna cut out gluten? No problem. You can do it together. You’ll be safe turning to him for any body image problems you may have.
- He’ll probably know how to cook
Emphasis on probably, because this one actually doesn’t apply to me. I’m an awful cook, but a decent baker, I guess. I do know how to put together simple meals, though, that don’t upset my stomach. Most people with IBD can put together safe meals that everyone could enjoy because of the limited diets we have.
- He’ll have a great sense of humor
If he’s not already a bitter grumpy puss, then he probably turns to the one weapon those with chronic illnesses have: humor. Poop jokes, or any type of bodily humor, is the best. A guy getting kicked in the nuts on home video? Classic. He’ll always have some sort of joke ready at the moment it’s needed.
- Final notes
This is me hamming up the pros, but there are definitely going to be more cons. There are times where people with chronic illnesses have to think about themselves more than other people. Whatever illness he does have, it isn’t going to be easy. You can walk away whenever you want, but he’s still going to be sick. There are probably going to have to be hospital visits where you’ll have to help him out. Hospitals can be scary when you’re alone.