Two Years Later

So it’s been two years since I’ve been diagnosed with ulcerative colitis. I remember sighing with relief when there was finally a name to how I had been suffering for 8 months. What I didn’t know was that this would be forever.

This is where I’m supposed to write some sort of inspirational thing about how if I can do it, you can too. How I’ve gone straight back to school or work right after being hospitalized because I’m so strong as a person and how I bet you could run that marathon if I can get out of bed in the morning. I’m not going to bother with that because I hate blog posts like that. I did the things I did because I had to. You would do the same thing if you were in my position.

This summer has made my illness feel even more invisible.

I currently feel like I have a perpetual stomach flu, but I’ve been like this for so long, even I’m growing impatient. Fevers, nausea, and vomiting have been the tip of the iceberg. It isn’t exactly how I wanted to spend my first summer as a post-grad.

My fatigue has made it difficult to write much of anything. I’ve had to take breaks just writing this. I can only be grateful that I’m done with college and people expecting me to change out of my pajamas.

What’s mostly upsetting is that results on there being anything wrong haven’t shown up on any sort of medical test that IBD requires. Not even a colonoscopy.

I had to go through all that ridiculous prep for them to say that the inflammation “wasn’t that bad.”

It’s not that I want there to be anything wrong. I just want what’s going on to be figured out.

I’m currently on my way to being put on Humira, because whatever I had during my last hospital stay is back at full force. My GI doctor wanted me to be put on Imuran during my last visit, but I don’t know about that anymore.

Either way, I had to get my blood drawn for both of those. I’m almost hoping that something shows up for my most recent blood drawing, because I had a bit of a fever when I was there. Losing blood when you have a fever isn’t a fun experience, I’ve discovered. It felt like I was on the giant teacups at Disney World, but more nauseating.

As far as I know, Imuran and Humira do about the same thing. The difference is that Imuran is a pill and Humira is a shot that you have to give to yourself.

I’m not looking forward to giving myself shots.

On the bright side, I am doing a lot better than last year, inflammation-wise. I’m not in danger of having to get surgery or any sort of other procedure, either.

I’m just stuck waiting and hoping things smooth out.


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