I seriously have the hardest time asking for help. I’ll carry a whole load of groceries in one trip by myself, slowly scooting a 24 pack of water bottles on the floor while I carry a gallon of milk, a carton of eggs, and maybe some tortilla chips, before I let someone help. Want to know why?
Because I know that if I don’t do it, it’s not going to get done.
Or at least that’s what I’ve successfully convinced myself over the past few years.
What my chronic illness has taught me is that I really need to learn when to ask for help.
I just got a play produced and it turned out amazing. The only bad thing that happened was that the air mattress slowly deflated, but that wasn’t even a problem because it was just a set piece and no one sat on it during the play.
Thing is, every step of the process of getting to opening night was hell on earth. I’d have several cast members not show up and a director freaking out that she wouldn’t be able to make it to rehearsal last minute, so would I be able to lead things for the night because everyone else is busy too?
One rehearsal, I literally had only two out of five people show up. Three people earlier that day said, “If you need help, just ask.”
I texted those three people. Two of them didn’t respond while the third had a lot of homework to finish that night.
I’ve blocked whatever else happened during that rehearsal out of my memory.
But even though I didn’t actually receive help until toward the end, I actually learned how to ask for help.
As we were in the final weeks of rehearsals and the show date (April 25th) got closer and closer, people started coming out of the woodwork to help me.
By the time everything was said and done, the heaviest thing that I had to carry was my own backpack.
As much as I hate group projects and having to rely on other people, I’ve been taught a tough lesson this semester. No matter how much I want to, I can’t do everything like I used to. I’m not invincible.
But through all that stress, something incredible happened: art.
Feel free to sponsor me during future life endeavors through my PayPal account linked over on the side.